the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
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I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
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I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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