If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
