I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
