the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
