wanna go halves on a baby?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
A bitchslap is in order.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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