I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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