I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
