Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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