im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
