Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
