Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
