everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
