Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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