dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
