please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
