so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
