My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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