I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
