i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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