3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
