You're a womanizer and a bitch.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
