How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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