i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
