i jhust puked up my retainher.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You don't make any sense
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