im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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