Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
