why didn't you poke me back
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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