I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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