forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize