Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
