I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize