Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
