kristin has been a bad kristin
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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