omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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