do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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