i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
My bed smells like the plague
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
