it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
