Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
