I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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