did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
