shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize