I accidentally had phone sex last night
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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