I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
