Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
home. puking in laundry basket.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
