im six kinds of drunk right now
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize