we're blogging at a bar
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
