Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize