I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
