i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
