i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize