fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
