please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
