he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
