We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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