I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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