Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm really busy with my period
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