I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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