Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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