eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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