yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
