So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
