Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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