Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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