So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
